"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
