is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
