so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
