Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
