You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
