This girl is more easily done than said...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
