can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
