they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
