well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
