these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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