I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
