everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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