break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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