"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
