I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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