It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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