Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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