i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
accomplished twins. life is a go
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
