Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We left an ass print on the piano.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
