he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
