I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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