Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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