i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
