What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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