in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
