No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im holly from the hills drunk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
