Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
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