I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
