yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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