do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
