I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
