would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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