Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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