Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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