i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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