five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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