I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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