you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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