I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
