that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
