just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
