Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
