I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
