It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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