i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
