I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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