Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
