May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
