i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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