a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
