Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
